We have all been there. We have all had to do it. Occasionally, a relationship just falls apart in a bad way. When that happens, you just wish you could walk away and leave it at that. Yet, you feel compelled to let the other person know that it is over instead of making them wait around in torturous silence until they figure it out months down the road without contact from you. The problem comes along though when you feel compelled to let the other person know of the break up but not compelled enough to use one of the acceptable, tried and true methods such as a quiet one on one talk or even a long telephone conversation. Many of these “easy way out” break ups are made possible through our modern technologies. However, that fact still does not necessarily make them satisfactory in the eyes of society. Try your hardest to never sink low enough to use these methods to let a significant other know the relationship is over…or risk being the epitome of the word “jerk.”
1.
E-mail
Electronic mail or “e-mail” is one of the greatest tools given to us by the Internet. Sending letters, pictures, and other documents whizzing through cyberspace to be received by someone half the world away in a matter of minutes is an amazing way to keep in touch with worldwide acquaintances and support the spread and transfer of information. Some people want to abuse this awesome power though by using its rapidness and its anonymity to sever ties with a lover as painlessly as possible. However, it ends up being just the opposite of painful for the person receiving the e-mail.
Example? Apparently the professional hockey player Jarret Stoll who plays for the L.A. Kings decided the best way to cancel his wedding to model/actress Rachel Hunter was with a mass e-mail. Less than two months before the wedding he e-mailed her and every person on their guest list to call the wedding off. Ouch.
2.
Facebook
The changing of relationship status on social networking sites like Facebook and Myspace is an important step in one’s relationship life. Changing one’s relationship status to “in a relationship” is a large step as it allows every one of your friends to know you are currently taken. This is particularly key on Facebook as you generally have to send an invitation to the person with whom you are dating for approval so that their name is posted beside yours. The changing of your status back to single though is another big step after a break up. A way that people take the changing of one’s relationship status back to single to a whole new level is doing it BEFORE he or she has spoken to their significant other about breaking up, thereby making Facebook the bearer of bad news.
3.
A Public Place
While it may seem nice to take the other person out for a final nice dinner or an expensive drink, breaking up with someone in public can be seen as a very bad move. It is easy to think that the public venue will make the break-ee calmer and reserved—meaning they will not shout at you and quietly finish their dinner or drink before letting you know that they “understand” then give you a gentle hug and goodbye. WRONG! More often than not the person, no matter how sweet and reserved they are normally, will most certainly cause a scene and all the people sitting next to your table will know of your pathetic breakup attempt and consider you to be a jerk. Having a very long, awkward wait for the check might well be the least of your problems if you choose this breakup method.
4.
Post-It Note
The idea of putting your feelings about breaking up with someone in writing has its merits. You are able to put down your true feelings and explain everything in detail without distractions of someone butting in or forgetting things. However, breaking up with someone through a piece of paper really is not that fair to them. You don’t allow them their opportunity to express their own feelings and anger at the end of the relationship. They are as justified in their own feelings as you are. Since you cared enough about their feelings to start dating them, you might as well give them a few moments to rant and wail at you when you break up with them. There is an infamous Sex and the City episode when Carrie, played by Sarah Jessica Parker, gets the boot courtesy of a Post-It note from her boyfriend of several weeks named Berger. Not even having a long explanation on a full size of paper is even worse than this impersonal way of breaking up.
5.
Don’t Murder the Messenger

Messengers for relationship news were the way of the playground. If a girl liked a boy and wanted to “go out” with him, her friend would ask for her and vice versa. Once it was time to break up, the same method could be employed to the point where young grade school couples rarely actually talked to each other at all. However, the problem comes about when adults try to employ this childish break up method. The breaker assumes that the painful act will be easier if the breakee is approached by a friend. This method allows the breaker to avoid the shouting and the yelling as well as the fighting by having the personal touch of an actual individual tell the breakee without having to be the exact one to do it. Referring to Sex and the City again, Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) tells about how she was broken up by means of a guy’s doorman as he explained the man was not coming downstairs ever. In the movie starring Catherine Zeta Jones and Julia Roberts called America’s Sweethearts, the character played by Catherine Zeta Jones made her sister played by Julia Roberts break up with all of her boyfriends to the point Julia’s high school yearbook quote was “Hey, we have to talk.”
6.
Evaporation

While all the ways mentioned here are really bad methods of breaking up with a person that make you look like a jerk, there is one way that tops them all. Evaporating from a person’s life without reason or explanation is by far the worst way to break up with someone as they don’t even realize what is going on. Male daters seem to like this one the best because they think of it as the easy way out. They simply “evaporate” from existence. They stop calling the breakee, answering the breakee’s phone calls and e-mails, and cut off all contact. When a couple hangs out in the same social circles and the same groups of friends, this technique can actually be rather tricky. It can be a balancing act to where a person might find the breakup talk easier than trying to simply evaporate but refuses to carry out the deed in hopes that one of their mutual friends gives the breakee the news in lieu of the “messenger” method. Either way, trying to vanish does not make you actually disappear to the breakee and really is the loser way out.